Living with our father

Me, my brother and sister were so excited to go live with our father again.

Me, (10 years)My brother Spencer,(11 years) and my sister Maxine. (8 years)

The house was basically completed except there was suppose to be a third bedroom but it didn’t get completed. He had 2 bedrooms completed, one for me and my sister and one for Dad and my brother.

See, my dad had already had it planned how things would go. He had planned on having me sleep with him from the beginning. He treated me like I was his wife. I cooked, cleaned, did the grocery shopping and the laundry. I was also in grade 7 in High School, which I failed that year and had to redo the year.

My Dad drank every Saturday night, never missed. Basically every Friday

as well. Sometimes we would get lucky and he would stay sober on a rare Friday.

,

My routine was to get up in the morning and get breakfast and clean up and run to catch the bus. Go to school for the day and come home and cook dinner for everyone. I also did the grocery shopping every Friday. He didn't want the other 2 doing it, it was my job. Than on the weekends I took all the laundry down the road to my Nan's place, summer and winter. It was pretty cold hanging clothes on the line in the winter because my hands could never take any cold for long periods of time. Sometimes my Nan would come help me because I would be crying from my hands hurting from the cold.

Then every weekend I had to clean the house, dusting, sweeping, mopping. I had to do most of it because my sister didn't do a good enough job. And she didn't cook because she was not good at it, being so young. Even though I was only a year and a half older. Sometimes she would help wipe the dishes but not a lot.

And than came the sleeping arrangements, which he wanted me to sleep with him all the time, wasn't sure why at first.

My sister would want to sleep with dad and wondered why he wanted me to all the time. She never knew why, probably thought he liked me better than her, I'm not sure

what went through her little mind.

I slept with him nearly every night except when my sister would start crying and he would give in to her and I slept in the bedroom with my brother on one of the twin beds where my father was suppose to sleep.

That night I got to sleep in the room away from him was such a relief to me, I knew I had that one night where I didn't have to do anything with him. He would be yelling, screaming, banging doors right up until he turned off the lights and finally got in bed and than I knew I was safe for one night, I was so happy and relieved when I got those rare nights.

I'm not going to get into the details but my father made me have sex with him every night I slept with him. I just remembering crying and being in pain and didn't understand why this was happening to me.

I remember I was never allowed to go bed to on Saturday nights until he got home, whether it was 7 pm or 2am. My brother and sister went to bed a normal time and had to stay up and wait for him to get home, He was always loaded drunk. I remember one night i went to bed because I was so tired. I woke up when he got home and he yelled my name and he threw a wet facecloth at me and got me in my eye. I never did that again.

My father was a mean drunk. I remember having to cook his dinner for him whether it was 3am in the morning. He then made me to do all the dishes. I would sit at the kitchen table listening to him go on and on about nothing good. Sometimes sitting there with my head resting on my hand and I would fall asleep and he would bang on the table scaring the shit out of me. This was a regular thing every Saturday night. Other times he would turn off all the lights in the house and get his shot gun and tell me there was a bear in the house. I would be so scared.

I also watched him while he would burn some of my clothes because he didn't like the way it looked, showing too much of my neck.